The Clan Lord Sentinel

Sheriff Noivad is missing. Has anyone seen him?

http://www.thoomcare.com/archives/003306.html

Will Puddleby soon need a new Sheriff?

Nah. I think he is at a zu enforcement convention.

I heard he came to town center one night looking rather frightened and rambling on about how he was ambushed in the forest by some unidentified assailants. He was burned, bruised and bloodied. Apparently some friends tried to calm him down and figure out what had happened to him. At first, it looked like they were going to succeed but then he snapped and fled in terror on a boat, going westward toward the Great Ocean. He has not been seen since and many fear the worst.

I'm going to go ahead and declare myself Sheriff Pro Tem and save everyone the trouble of an election. The new curfew is 3 PM and the fine for curfew violation is 20c. Also, saying 'lolz' is now a crime punishable by death.

Have a great day!

lolz

GMs we need pressurized paint bottles. Gonna graffitti the town lolz!

Now hold on everyone! No need to panic. I as First Deputy will temporarily assume the role of Sheriff...I have the key to the clubhouse...

Anywho, effective immediately, the curfew is lifted, Skirwan is sentenced to wear Largo's unstylish clothes, and anyone paint balling/graffittiing the town*eyes Cinnamon* will be castrated on the spot by Kahn St'ple.

Carry on!

Pun'isher wrote:graffittiing

That isn't a word. In accordance with my role as Chief Forensic Grammatician[1] of the PPD, I hereby place you on unpaid suspension pending full investigation.

[1] Also in accordance with my role as Chief Forensic Grammatician, I hereby declare that a perfectly cromulent[2] word.
[2] Ibid. [1]

Overruled. I have patented that spelling of graffittiing and the definition is as followed:

taking part in paint balling buildings and residents of Puddleby.

Now go put on that unstylish clothes!

Carry on!

MEMO
To: All Deputies
Re: Pun'isher

Effective immediately Pun'isher is relieved of all duties and no longer holds the force of any office of the PPD. Any attempts by Pun'isher to claim the authority of a PPD officer shall be construed as 'impersonating a police officer', a sanctionable felony under PPD directive 312.1. Such attempts shall be halted with all necessary and proper prejudice.

So let it be recorded this 37th day of Winter 573 AE, by authority of Sheriff Pro Tem of Puddleby Skirwan An'han'wan.

Cordially,

Skirwan An'han'wan
Sheriff Pro Tem
Puddleby Police Department

Skirwan is a mutineer with no authority as an officer of the PPD. APB for this falsificator! I am the Acting Sheriff as stated in article 7.4.5.4 and order that Skirwan be apprehended for inciting the overthrow of the PPD. Skirwan is armed with a hideous wardrobe. Approach with caution and a good pair of sunglasses!

"As a volunteer sheriff I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections...there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we're downriver from that old bread factory..."

As noone important, I suggest a Gag Order on the yeast infections. Don't want the dwarves remembering yeast is essential in alcohol making.