The Clan Lord Sentinel

HURRY.

Meh, I saw the movie at the super secret pre-release party. It isn't up to the hype.

For example, the five minutes of gratuitous nudity wasn't nearly long enough and Kerrah really should have been playing herself in that scene. And the plot line, I mean, WTF Hoggle, some epic quest where you have to kill 1000 creatures to learn their power? What kind of kudzu were you smoking?

And don't get me started on the continuity errors. In one shot of the epic fight scene there were 3257 Gorvin-bots, but in the next you can clearly see only 3255 Gorvin-bots, and one poorly-drawn Gurgi. I mean, come on! If you can't get things that blatantly obvious right, why even make the movie?

I did like the bathhouse fight scene between Kerrah and Slyph, but it disappointed on other levels. Namely there wasn't nearly enough jello or chocolate pudding. Also see my comment about the gratuitous nudity of why this scene disappoints.

On the whole, the movie will not live up to expectations, despite it's insanely high budget and canonical departure. I will only see it 6 more times, instead of the 8 more I had originally planned.

Phroon wrote:Meh, I saw the movie at the super secret pre-release party. It isn't up to the hype.

For example, the five minutes of gratuitous nudity wasn't nearly long enough and Kerrah really should have been playing herself in that scene. And the plot line, I mean, WTF Hoggle, some epic quest where you have to kill 1000 creatures to learn their power? What kind of kudzu were you smoking?

And don't get me started on the continuity errors. In one shot of the epic fight scene there were 3257 Gorvin-bots, but in the next you can clearly see only 3255 Gorvin-bots, and one poorly-drawn Gurgi. I mean, come on! If you can't get things that blatantly obvious right, why even make the movie?

I did like the bathhouse fight scene between Kerrah and Slyph, but it disappointed on other levels. Namely there wasn't nearly enough jello or chocolate pudding. Also see my comment about the gratuitous nudity of why this scene disappoints.

On the whole, the movie will not live up to expectations, despite it's insanely high budget and canonical departure. I will only see it 6 more times, instead of the 8 more I had originally planned.

Thanks for the review. I think I will be sticking with Xel movies.

Gil-Galad wrote:Thanks for the review. I think I will be sticking with Xel movies.

Hoggle has informed me that I had not seen his movie. In fact, he informs me that there was no such super secret pre-release party. He did note, however that the morning prior to this review that he found me next to an unusually large pile of powdery white rocks. He tried to wake me, only to hear me mumble something about bramble berries and pass out again.

We both feel that what I saw was actually a dream, but we also agreed that it would be an awesome movie with a few plot revisions.

Xel movies are released exclusively in HDVS*, so you never have to worry about quality.

*High Definition Visionstone

*snickers* it's a great preview hoggle 8D I hope your version of "soon" really means... soon!

Wait for it...

*jumps up and down anxiously*

Mr. Hoggle's visionstone debut marks a radical departure for the StickLord franchise, reinvigorating an already remarkably vigorous series with a bold new artistic direction. The plot balances a surprising dramatic depth with a sort of casual, no-nonsense absolutism, and through this dichotomy of deed and action accomplishes a sort of 'artificial catharsis'. The symbolism inherent in the subject matter -- and alas I'm unable to go into greater detail without spoiling the surprise and castrating the almost brutal frankness of the denouement -- never fails to impress, but manages to avoid the triteness that has befallen lesser artists pursuing similar endeavors. In all, I rate the work a solid 10.3 noodles: a true must-watch if ever there were one.

(Copyright 571, StickLord Visionstone Reviews, all rights and interest conflicts reserved)